Hagaren: The Musical!
by Skyklutz the Storyteller
Summary: No one, not even the author, knows why, but every one in the land of alchemy can't help but break out into song! Ooh noo! Takes place postseries, there are spoilers.


I do not own Fullmetal Alchemist (Hagaren no Renkinjutsushi). I did, however, finish watching the series Sunday night ('till 3am) and I sat there for about ten minutes saying "Woooow...". Occasionally I will go glassy-eyed and say "Wooooow..." through the week. Anyway, I've had writer's block ever since and all I could spout out was this crap...

* * *

Alphonse walked down the hallways of Central, his hand clamped tightly over his mouth as he read the "Absolutely NO Speaking!" posters plastered down the walls. He sighed through the cracks of his fingers, even here. He stopped in front of Brigadier General Mustang's office and rapped lightly on the door. After a few seconds, he heard a second knock within the office, beckoning him inside. Al stepped in and bowed politely. Roy motioned him in front of a notepad on his desk. 

"You're here to see if we've found anything on the whereabouts of your brother, right?" Roy scribbled quickly. Al squinted his copper eyes to read the Brigadier General's scribbled notes and finally nodded. Roy sighed, "You know we're trying our best, but you must understand how difficult this is." he continued to write. Al, once again, nodded.

"Thank you, sir," Al wrote carefully, "I have some research of my own if you--" Roy pulled the notepad from the boy's hand and got closer to him.

"Alphonse-kun," he whispered, looking around as if expecting a mariachi band to spring up from under a sofa. When one didn't, he continued quietly, "It's ridiculous that we can't speak around here... I think we'll be all right if we stay quiet."

"Right," Al whispered. He rustled inside his jacket for the stack of research he had put together, when they all slid out of his grasp. Documents, diagrams, and sketches fluttered to the floor in a jumbled mess, "Oh no!" Al cried in despair, immediately clamping his hand back over his mouth. It was too late. There came that uncomfortable tickle on his vocal cords. A small tune played in the back of their minds, that we folks over the gate recognize as "Summer Nights".

"Here's that research, I wanted to see." sang Roy.

"Now it's a big mess, please forgive me!" Al followed.

"Please don't cry, over spilt salt."

"But why not sir, it's all my fault?"

"Life is tough, since Ed went away. Why do our lives really suck?" They sang together. Just then Riza Hawkeye, Jean Havoc, Kaine Furey, and Alex Louis Armstrong literally burst through the door.

"Well-a well-a well-a well!"

"Tell us more, tell us more!"

"Who the hell started to sing?" Riza grumbled in tune.

"Tell us more, tell us more!"

"Alphonse started the whole thing!" Roy pointed. They continued to the next verse.

"Well-a well-a well-a well!"

"Anyway, let's get down to business." Al continued.

"It's hard to rhyme, with the word 'business'!"

"All I want, is to go back to bed!"

"If you were Full Metal, I'd hit your blond head!"

"Somehow this, doesn't seem fair. Why do our lives really suck?"

"Well-a well-a well-a well!"

"Tell us more, tell us more."

"Mustang, prepare to die." Riza threatened.

"Tell us more, tell us more."

"Don't look at me, you've got the wrong guy!"

"Well-a well-a well-a well!"

"Could someone help me, gather these papers?" Al asked politely.

"Gotta go, I've got too many sight kapers!" Jean sang before trying to dash out of the room. No good, the power of the song was too great.

"I don't remember, what order these go!"

"It doesn't look hard, to figure out though!" Roy added.

"Oh great, the research went in the floor vent! Why do our lives really suck?"

"Well-a well-a well-a well!"

"Tell us more, tell us more."

"Turn off those sparklies, they're hurting my head," Kaine mumbled, shielding his eyes from Alex.

"Tell us more, tell us more."

"If it weren't for these lights, I'd probably be dead!" As Alex sang, Black Hayate sniffed inside the room.

"That's the cutest dog I have seen!" Al sang happily as the young dog nibbled at his pant leg.

"He solved the mystery of warehouse thirteen!" Jean added.

"Hey wait just a minute, I thought that was me!" Roy cried indignantly.

"You were the one, who unmasked Fuhrer's deception." Riza said helpfully.

"But now I've got absolutely no depth-perception!"

"Don't remember, being the Philosopher's Stone. Why does my life really suck?" Al crossed his arms in a very Ed-like manor.

"Well-a well-a well-a well!"

"I came in here to get some more info."

"And we didn't hear, what we don't know!"

"Maes's presence, would be a cheerful fixture," Riza sighed.

"I could really use, an Elysia picture!" Kaine outbursted.

"Well look at us, we wasted some time. Why do our lives really suck?" They finished. The music in their heads slowly faded as they all rubbed their ears. Roy picked up his notepad and stoked it slightly. The other's nodded and left the room.

"Uhm, sir?" Al whispered. Roy looked up, "I don't remember why I came in here..."

* * *

New chapter soon with a new song! I'm thinking Ready Steady GO, since both sub and dub watchers are familiar with it. Trying to pick songs that most people are familiar with... Maybe Catch You Catch Me would be fun in the future... See you next time, whenever that is... 


End file.
